10 Reasons You Need to Stop Feeling Bad for Me for Being Single

If one more person looks at me with sympathetic puppy dog eyes when I tell them that I am, in fact, a single twenty-three year old woman, I will punch them in their face. I do not have a disease. I am single.

Ok, so I won’t actually punch them. That’s why I’m writing this blog.

  1. I. AM. HAPPY. Being single is not actually a sentence of death. And no, that doesn’t mean I don’t desire to be married and have 17 children someday, but I’m still content. Unbelievable, I know.
  1. I’m partly making this list for myself. I do sometimes think that I am never going to get married which causes panic attacks. Your well-intentioned sympathy does not help me keep my head on straight.
  1. My life is good. I am currently sitting in the kitchen of my apartment which I share with three fabulous ladies, sipping a cup of Earl Grey, prepping for a Grey’s Anatomy marathon on this chilly Saturday night. (Yes, that’s a reason in itself.)
  1. It’s ok to still be single when you’re 23. I JUST turned 23. Let that sink in. You need to take a serious look at your priorities if you think all 23 year olds need to be in a relationship. As in, a serious look at where that assumption comes from (cuz it’s not the Bible I can tell you that).
  1. My schedule is my own and it’s not selfish. I get to spend time serving parents with young children who need a break and volunteering at local ministries like Heartline Pregnancy Center. I get to work on myself; on my yoga, my writing, my relationship with Jesus. Don’t write that off as the super cliché excuse every single person uses to pretend they’re happy. It’s true! And it’s awesome.
  1. Just being me is enough. Our culture makes single people feel less important enough already. When you feel bad for me, you are supporting the demented cultural belief that being in a relationships is better than being single. I know you wouldn’t say you believe that… so stop acting like it.
  1. The only budget I need to follow is my own. I have a full time job, minimal rent and loan payments, and a TJ Maxx 10 min from my house. I can buy the tickets, get the organic shampoo, and pick whatever groceries I like best.
  1. I don’t have to plan ahead. I can up and drive to see my family in Lima, OH or visit a friend for the weekend and I don’t have to run it by anyone. I can decide when I get off work on Friday afternoon and just hop in the car.
  1. Surely goodness and mercy are pursuing me. I am a Christian and desire with all my heart to do God’s will, seeking to know Him more and become more like Jesus. To this, Charles Spurgeon says, “Remember this, had any other condition been better for you than the one in which you are, Divine Love would have put you there.” <3 <3 I can say with confidence that my current life stage and relationship status is God’s will for me and is totally immersed in the perfect love of God. There is nothing better than that and nothing I want more than that.
  1. God has such great plans for me. “No eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9. I believe that promise regardless of my relationships status and you should too.

Please let me know if you have any questions. I’ll be drawing a bath, reading my favorite book, and going to bed at a very early hour.

8 Comments

  1. SIDESHOW on October 25, 2015 at 2:23 am

    AMEN SISTA. Thank you for posting these words of truth!

  2. Debby Mason on October 25, 2015 at 2:30 am

    23? You’re just a baby…you have your whole life ahead of you and God is preparing His BEST for you! Love the blog…you’re a real treasure, Sara…even God could have a tough time finding someone worthy of you!!

  3. Aunt Janet on October 25, 2015 at 12:08 pm

    Back then, girls believed that having a baby at 27 was too old. They would tell me that it is better to have babies by the time you are 21. I got married at 21, had my son at 27. People would be taken back when I said that I waited six years before having children, and I am glad that I did. When our pastor gave a sermon about being single, I silently fist pumped the air in rejoice, because I was sure that so many poor single people had to listen to unwarranted advice. “You’re single? I have JUST the person for you to meet!” are the phrases heard too many times. It is not a funeral, but a party! Your blog is great!

  4. m3lideli on October 25, 2015 at 3:13 pm

    Love this!

  5. Makayla Cole on October 26, 2015 at 4:34 am

    Love this Sara it inspired me because sometimes I really want to rush but you’re chill!

  6. heldenmut4110 on February 5, 2016 at 10:06 am

    I love this! You are so right! I am tired of people ensuring me that God has someone in store for me. The way they talk about it makes me feel like I am incomplete without a partner but that is not true. I am single and I am enjoying!

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